the language of the broken hearted

At times I wonder how..even as you have great company, flowing conversation, merry laughter, countless activities in your life..that hollow feeling just doesn't seem to go away.

This hollow feeling always creeps in at the most unsuspecting hour, threatening to overwhelm me in a way so terrifying I morph into someone I dun remotely know,even for awhile.

It feels surreal and so foreign I have no words to describe it. I have felt stronger even thru hours of jetlag, being in a foreign land, sick and wide awake, ravenous and misunderstood.

I have had my heart..

lovingly cradled..brutally trampled, hopelessly squashed, painstakingly mended, & am honestly drained.

I would give anything for it to come back to me in a pristine state. If only.

I seriously wonder: if we are all part of something which makes us whole, does it mean we will become whole & complete when we have found our other halves?

And how do God decide who finds theirs when they turn round the corner.. and who goes thru life searching, breaking hearts and who never even got the chance to?

Life isn't fair and will never be. I can only hope its all worth it.

A warm, open, loving heart given unreservedly does not ensure it will be treasured, lovingly handled or treated with integrity. That I have learnt.

"Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart..."What's a girl like me to do?