my deepest fear

There were some things that i feared greatly, among other things.

Earlier, I walked in thru the door after a long day at work & felt something amiss with my precious baby, affectionately known as meimei/Miffmiff ( i gave her so many names thru out the years & she responded to all) cos she jus didnt bark as usual.. I picked her up found her hind area trembling slightly. Silly me thought she had a sore throat & i gave her some pei pa koa. Yes.. she likes that & yes its the sweet,black thick syrup meant for humans for treating sore throats and coughs. I gave her once when i so much as hear her cough and it works wonderfully.

She is gonna be 8 this year & though she looks like a cute pup with lots of energy, I can't deny she sometimes huffs while she's resting.. a sign non-existent in her early years. My heart fills with dread the day i will have to say goodbye.. its too painful its almost unthinkable.

She loves to be right beside me whenever I'm home.. and the extent to which I'm dependent on her frightens me. I find myself wondering if she has wandered out of my hse, if she didnt come to me to be picked up usually. The bond we shared was just so special.

She has given me unconditional love all these time..licked my tears away during bad times, seen me thru bfs & heartache, & danced her celebratory dance whenever something good went my way.
It suddenly dawned on me that is exactly how love should be. It is as uncomplicated as can be.
It is about being there always, giving comfort where it hurts & sharing life's happiness. Where quitting & walking away isnt an option, ever.

I remembered the previous week where i got a cut from trimming her stained fur during a grooming session. She had fidgeted all of a sudden which caused me to get a bleeding cut on my finger. She licked me as if to say "sorry" Funny thing is, the following week while I was doing the same, she stood perfectly still, (not one movement,very unlikely of her) even while i was trimming near her eyes.

I can't exactly say I'm surprised cos this is the same dog who pestered me to pour her cold water from the fridge! into her water bowl & to open my cargo bag when i came back from a long flight cos she knows there are lots of goodies & treats I brought from Japan. She is smart as whip & mum always says she's almost human-like in her interactions with us. :)


My precious Miff at 8 yrs.. can u imagine how totally calendar pup material she was when she came into my life at 2 months?..

I later think she has some hind leg tremors and rubbed it down with ointment & cuddled her to sleep..

One of our fave pastime :) just lay n do nothing at all.

I know she knows how much she means to me.

But if she could hear me I would like her to know:

I'll be her pair of legs should hers fail one day.

I'll keep her from bumping into things should her eyesight deteriorate.

That she need not be afraid of what comes may, simply cos

I'll always be there for her like she had always been for me

That she'll always have a home & loving owners

true to the promise i made the very day I brought her home.