Her Diary

grr.

2009-03-26T22:50:00.003+08:00

I don't really know why I feel like a million horrible things right now.

Grouchy, testy and lousy.

Frustrations seem to well up so much i feel i could burst.. I could punch the cushiest pillows and still feel so mad at being mad.

Its like being in a maze, trying to find your way out but yet losing your way while your feet is aching, and also tired and hungry.

I would just like to curl up, pout and not say a word for the next 24 hours or so.

Blame it on hormones.

2009-02-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

To my baby girl:

You are this perfect dog, in an imperfect world.

The day I lost you I couldn't forgive myself, for I vowed to give you a home till the very end. I loved to see you sigh and stretch with contentment, cos I knew that meant you felt warm, safe and happy.

Now that you aren't by my side, every spare moment I had I prayed to all the Gods above that you be warm, safe and happy. Perhaps I need not worry, for you always had this charm and sparkle in your black button eyes that could turn any perfectly sane human into your little slave.
Perhaps that was why you haven't found your way back into my arms yet.

Bonds aren't made to be broken. We would one day meet. Wherever the place may be.

But before that happens, work your special Miffie magic and be very warm, safe, loved and happy.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

My baby girl

2009-01-24T13:13:00.002+08:00

9 yrs Small White Maltese lost from Blk 250C Compassvale Street.(Sengkang)Last seen at Void Deck on 22 Jan (Thu) around 4pm.Family misses her greatly.If found, kindly & urgently call Esther at mobile 81189640/68816607.Reward will be given.

This is the poster that i stuck around my neighbourhood.Heartlessly torn off by some people who claimed its not legal. Checked with SPCA and its not the case. Am trying to stay positive for my gal.

Unwrapped..gifts i love!

2008-12-27T13:56:00.008+08:00

My Xmas gift to myself! One has gotta travel in style.
Love that patent red.

My bedside companion.. a sweet lil ballerina twirling to the tune"U are my sunshine" :) such a sweet tinkling melody. I figured it looks kinda lonely so that explains Mr. blue florals..

From the babe who insists to wrap despite the very crammy pasta mania table amidst our food.. :p

An uber cute coaster! Jus what i need for my mug in office!

The statement on coaster? AGREED.

I must have been an awesome BFF huh if not why i got both the coaster & Paris Hilton pouch. :p Your handwritten cards always so full of words n heart..Still have the one on my 18th birthday onwards.

A very pleasant surprise. Purple rain tulips:)

I sprinkled water to keep them fresh and the droplets shimmer like lil diamonds on the petals. So pretty.

I wanna go sit down with pen and paper in hand for some resolutions in 2009. On hindsight, certain events are pretty much blessings in disguise.

Its a popular saying that when u fail to plan, u plan to fail. But again, some wisdom & a little flexibility for minor hiccups? Still very much needed.:)

Later.

What's Your Power Color?

2008-12-20T12:20:00.002+08:00

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpowercolorquiz/

My result:

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.

At Your Lowest:You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.

In Love:You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.

How You're Attractive:You are very affectionate and inspire trust.

Your Eternal Question:"Am I Respected?"

Muahaha.

2008-12-20T11:29:00.004+08:00

Elmo just makes my day! Dorky adorable.

So do awfully cute PJs.

Just wanna spread some love. Nice weekend. :)

Items are up!

2008-12-15T22:06:00.034+08:00

Part 1

Lip Gloss Tubes $8 each

I think this is selling in sasa for $18/$19.. going for $13!

Liquid eyeliner in black/mascara -$12

Chick-lit novels- Sophie Kinsella series $9 each

Recent Publications -$10

Yakuza Moon- Sold

Pouch & Body Mist from Victoria's secrets
Pouch- $12
Hazelnut Truffles Body Mist ( lightly used only 1/4 used) $15

Pros? You will smell just like delicious hazelnut truffles..Heavenly.

Cons? You will feel peckish all day, like you gotta have some chocs or cookies.. so its a diet dampener!

Fake lashes (left;criss-cross) per box $2

Box of 18 pairs -$15 -Sold

Liquid Foundations/Loose Powder used once or twice

Shu Uemura loose powder in colourless matte-$32

Shiseido Dual Balancing Liquid Foundation SPF 15-$35 -SOLD

Biotherm Hydra-Detox Wash-off Mask - $38 (used only once) -SOLD

Emerald green tube dress with ruching details from Mango -$20

Boy shorts brand new -$8 each

Hair Curler from Watsons (used once )-$12

Polka-dotted scarf from Japan - $10

2008-12-14T13:08:00.011+08:00

Humppfffffffttt.

Who knew packing stuff can be such tedious work. Just one wardrobe-ful of clothes & what-nots is enough to give me a minor headache.

Should I bother with categorising I wonder?

Maybe its the weather. I jus feel like lying in bed, curled up with elmo & a good book. Since I dug up old pics, shall do a nostalgic entry. Some pics made me laugh out loud.

At times I marvel at how everyone around me had blossomed.:)

ok here goes:

My one & only lil sis. Who is gonna be mummy to my nephew very soon.

I dressed her up this way; she came up with the poses for the camera everytime:p

She has this pixie face with an impish smile & boundless energy. High-pitched voice & complain to our maid i bully her but actually is she bully me. LOL.

Cousin ah Derrrrrrr (as pronounced by my cutiepie cousin) & moi. He's gross; dig nose still put arm on me. My childhood playmate..i love him la.. sorry i broke your ultraman's hand many years ago but u didnt break my barbie's hand lol..

Our "little bfs". I think mine more handsome. rite. :p
We were told to hug for the pic, although he didnt look too enthusiastic.

My 1 yr old celebration!
From left: cousin De, myself, Lil bf, cousin Jingwen
Proof that kids many yrs ago are more obedient; do as told to sit pretty for the camera.

Last but not least.. my beloved grandma.

Mah mah as we affectionately call. Many of our behaviours are learnt in the childhood years and this amazing woman gave me so much, so unconditionally. Someone with a strong & steely demeanour, yet does her maternal duties with unwavering love and dedication.

The world can tumble around her and yet she keeps to her duties and still manage that signature smile; this to me is true dignity.

A humanitarian, the strays at old Boon Keng have her to thank cos without fail, a bag of leftover dinner would sit waiting for the "cat auntie" to distribute daily.

She loves to travel and would be proud of me that I once set foot in many lands, I know. Been years since she passed on, but I'll never forget that smile.

When she smiles, her whole face smiles, eyes too. That one, they say, has to come from the heart :)

I love u, mah mah. Am glad i told her everytime till the last. :)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ps: Gotta hurry with the packing of stuff for sale.but will leave out lingerie.. due to the below msn conversation with Cousin Deeerrr hahah:

Melvin.. A good 2009 ahead... says:
for those lingeries.. u put on ebay or wad.. sg alot of siao guys..

twirl.tap.smile.gym visits paying off! says:
orh.. haha

*Speaking of smile, someone is making me smile alot nowadays..Like the thoughtfulness & the gd vibes..:)

2008-12-12T15:22:00.002+08:00

Will be spending a big part of the weekend clearing clutter in my room.

Therefore..impulse purchases that were not used/lightly used will be up for SALE! Retail therapy seemed like a great idea for 2008 :X

Those include:

-Some tops from BKK
- Lingerie /slip dresses(unused) BKK
-Cosmetics & skincare products; very random have to sort them first!
-Perfume
-Misc items like haircurler
-Hugo Boss Ladies Timepiece
-Pouches/cute scarves
-Retail Vouchers
-Other quirky items I prolly don't need

All above will be in extremely gd condition. Pictures will be up and prices are all gonna be negotiable becos its Xmas!

Plus, I will be giving part of the $$ gotten from this sale of my items to give something back to needy children under the care of World Vision :

http://www.worldvision.org.sg/CF-Catalogue.php?catID=3

You go to this online catalogue & pick out a gift that will help transform a child's life! I think its the best gift anyone can give. :)

Later.

If I could paint the sky

2008-12-07T01:57:00.004+08:00

If I could paint the sky any colour i liked, it would be this..:)

My amateurish attempts at photography! Promised myself someday i would watch a proper sunrise.

Eva & I caught up to go cycle.

Haven't seen her in awhile, glad she got good grades for all her papers! We had so much fun chatting and giggling, despite the awful dinner at HK Cafe and the milk tea which kept me up till now.

Tis the month to be merry! Merry Xmas everyone.:)

2008-11-23T12:01:00.002+08:00

I much prefer David Cook's version! Can't seem to tire of it :)

And the live band at Timbre is awesome.. Literally melted when they did this piece. Somehow Mariah Carey's version feels a tad dated for me.

"A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out."

The above line is dedicated to Daddy J *coughs..coughs*
For being very daddy/guardian-like all this while, whether i needed it or not you never fail to let me know you'll be there & there was never a doubt that you would..Though sometimes when talking u always link it to someone/something else argh

I guess this is my way of saying thanks
For catching me when I fall. (choy)
Thanks once again for being such a good friend
And being here with me through it all.

2008-11-12T23:55:00.002+08:00

I like flowers.

They smell like hope & beautiful Spring.

Lovely bunch it is. Thank you..

Its already november

2008-11-08T23:22:00.011+08:00

I can't wait to say goodbye to 2008.

A year seemingly full of promise that turned out to be one that's full of mistakes and painful realisations.

I shall focus on the simple pleasures life brings or things that make me smile.. till '09 rolls around..

Impeccable French mani that actually lasts.

My cutest, sweetest, mischievious, shrimp-loving cousin made cuter by blabbering in thai..

I swear she's gonna be such a babe when she grows up; just don't be a jerk magnet..

Wacky Elmo. I need a life-sized one to hug to sleep at night though.Where can I get one? I don't wanna the stiff kind, but the mushy type where u can fold the arms however you like..

All things whimsical. The girlier the better.

Black and white images. Taken with a creative edge and a sprinkling of nostalgia. No rules needed, just a keen eye for style & perception.

Great company with people that matter :)

A BFF moment. Laughing/giggling about NOTHING in particular. We were just Happy to be.

My top wishes for 2009...............................................

Good health and a bad memory please.

Lopsided

2008-10-28T20:25:00.007+08:00

I want this.

My bed is lopsided, getting all soft and mushy on one side so I get backaches in the morning. More than annoying.

I want a new bed, a new room, new furniture, new lights, new curtains, new bedsheets, pillows, quilt & new snooze buddy.

Let all things be new. Spanking new.

あたらしい)おねがいします .....

2008-10-23T22:44:00.005+08:00

On your birthday,I wish for you the fulfillment of all your fondest dreams

.I hope that for every candle on your cake you get a wonderful surprise.

I wish for you that whatever you want most in life, it comes to you, just the way you imagined it,or better.

xoxo

Esta

2008-10-22T22:28:00.002+08:00

Thanks to photofunia.com, I'm a piece of art!

My fave creation btw. A great way to kill time.

Changing faces

2008-10-19T00:05:00.008+08:00

I like photography. Paintings & drawings.

An emotion, memory, captured on film or canvas is simply priceless. Looking at old pictures is like stopping time to revisit a place u once were.

I clearly remembered the emotions I felt and the things running thru my mind as the images were captured..

People change and faces alter as time goes by. Document it.

Every moment matters. Even the ones that break you down and make you cry so hard it hurts. They played a part in shaping who we are today.

I like this best. :)

Someone dear had this habit of snapping pictures of me when I wasn't aware.

A snapshot in the midst of a conversation, another of a pout or a tentative smile while daydreaming.

Yet those always turned out to be the best pictures. Of cos I became aware after awhile and even got irritated at times when I don't feel like it, especially with bad hair days and in between bouts of pms.

I never understood why you needed to steal shots of me each time we met.

When I asked, your answer touched my heart. And it felt special.

I have an inquiring mind, and am constantly probing out of you. I couldn't have missed the reasons, yet I needed to hear.

Clearly an open book, but I had decided it was an unfinished puzzle, trying to fix the pieces that didn't belong. Apologies are for days long gone, lessons are mine for keeps.

These are for the days when your collection ceased to continue, or gone for good..They aren't images only for your eyes in that trusty phone of yours now,but well.

Funny dialogue

2008-10-13T23:01:00.004+08:00

Rolling Razors = Sis

what else is new = Yours truly (me)

him = see pic above (Caspar aka casso aka songsee)

Rolling Razors says:
pls sayang him more let him sleep on yr bed
what else is new says:
wat..
what else is new says:
he on off lao sai one
Rolling Razors says:
i think cos he eat liao the stomach lie on the cold air con floor
what else is new says:
very hard to clean le
Rolling Razors says:
let him sleep on his dog bed leh

Rolling Razors says:
cos he lie flat on the floor
what else is new says:
u so funny!!!
Rolling Razors says:
he is fat and helpless
Rolling Razors says:
we must help him
what else is new says:
so funny u!!!
Rolling Razors says:
i miss him

Awwwwww.

2008-10-10T21:14:00.004+08:00

I always liked the scene in movies where the bride tosses her bouquet to the bridesmaids(presumably) cos it seemed like so much fun! If I were the bride,I would take a quick glance behind and purposely aim at the boys.. How comical it must be! Imagine the bewildered look. Priceless.:p

Posing with sis's bouquet while she did her dress change.

Rachel & family headed back to Bangkok days ago. Missing her already. Not only is she bright,chatty,sweet, adorable, she is so endearing affectionate. She would come wrap her arms (& legs) around me, smooch me silly and follow me around, with me holding her little hand. Gonna make it a point to save a bit so I can go visit them in Bangkok again.

BKK in April 09, anyone?

Alone

2008-10-09T21:28:00.002+08:00

Someone went on a long holiday! Off to enjoy herself for 13 long days.

Which means.. I get the whole house to myself! Which also means.. I have alot of house chores to do, since there will NEVER be a lack of cleaning up to do when you have 2 dogs in the home..

The 26th of September

2008-10-01T00:02:00.009+08:00

Nope, the night does not come before the day.

For starters, I have yet to get the pics from Dave,( still editing I suppose; but soon) the photographer of Kev & Jas's special day. Also, I have no program to resize the large file size for the images so its taking forever to load.

So for the lovely, bubbly people who made that day memorable, I suggest sending me your email so I could forward when I get the images from Dave, alrighty?..

Well the funniest thing of the day was being a Ms. Piggy in the Chinese horoscope, I had to literally go hide in my room when the groom comes to pick the bride.(Some age old chinese tradition cum superstition)

Then, I was ALMOST happily forgotten amidst all the cheers, till the very last minute when everyone was leaving. (Thank god sis remembered..)

Quite random though:

Sis Jasmine & I at Dinner..

That's how weddings should be: Cheers, people who matters, pretty flowergirl & red petals..

Us in the day.. Jasmine smiling her usual smile :)

I really love this one, so sassy & smart. Sweet.

Bride & Groom & their nice, cozy room.

Lady Entourage

More. Later.

gym-ing

2008-09-22T22:01:00.004+08:00

Back from gym. 2 days in a row, to be exact.

My legs are beginning to not feel like mine..but how I love the post workout glow and energy afterwards! Accosted by a stranger while riding the train home with " What kinda yoga do you do?" Hahah.

Lil Sis wedding is just days away, I'm looking forward to the gathering & my uber cute sawadee cousins. Planning to take lots & lots of pictures come this fri. How I miss them all. :)

friends!

2008-09-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

Enough of solitude and reflection!

I need friends! New or Old.. pls flood me with invitations for coffee, shopping,movies, anything.. especially healthy activities that require little expenditure!!

Heartfelt thanks to my girls who noticed my gloom..for the listening ear and making plans to hang out. Girly conversations on the couch or by the pool would do real nicely. Soon.

Where can I pack some instant humour?

想太多.

2008-09-08T21:37:00.004+08:00

Been thinking alot recently.

Mind going into overdrive.. Well into the wee hours of the night.

Managed to decide on dresses for Sis's wedding :) Virginal white for the day & elegant black for the night. Have been catching up on myself and reading, music and a certain serenity and solitude.

I miss going up in a swing and unaltered laughter & maybe something I can't even put a finger to.

Thoughts as random as can be. Go to sleep, inquiring mind.

"If God Answers Your Prayer, He is increasing your FAITH. If He Delays, He is increasing you PATIENCE. If He Doesnt Answer, He has Something BETTER for U."

What's meant to be,will always find its way.

2008-09-05T23:14:00.004+08:00

The sky I could never tire of.

Nature is such a lullaby.

Watching the clouds & its transformations, the musty smell of the greenery, the gentle breeze on my skin..I have found the best way to recharge; the easiest path to inner peace & tranquility.

Today, I sat down to someone's story. Listening. Finding empathy. Feeling the sense of disbelief, pain & denial.

Treachery of human heart at play.

Dream a little dream

2008-09-02T21:41:00.002+08:00

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you
"Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Say nighty-night and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me
While I’m alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear
Still craving your kiss
’m longin’ to linger till dawn dearJust saying this

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Stars shining up above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "i love you"
Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees
Dream a little dream of me

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Yes, dream a little dream of me.

Mt Faber shoot

2008-09-02T21:11:00.001+08:00

black n white

2008-08-30T12:00:00.002+08:00

Attended this enrichment course the other day. Insightful & enlightening.
From the facilitator is something I scribbled in my notes: "Don't just see things in black and white. Those who can see the grey areas will be successful." -(business sense)

Open to intepretation. :)

"The piano keys are black and white, but they sound like a million colours in your mind."

Do I stop at grey if I can reach for a million colours? I do love complexity. It wakes up the dead brain cells.

If I were born then..

2008-08-29T01:49:00.003+08:00

The hair is a masterpiece. Looks very nostalgic huh.

I swear I saw my mum in here. Very 60s?

This was kinda fun.

James Blunt - Goodbye My lover with lyrics

2008-08-24T23:18:00.001+08:00

Closer

2008-08-21T21:08:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna watch the movie "Closer" again. This time with an utterly different perspective.

Then again, the quotes are just unforgettably sexy.

Random:

Dan: When I get back, please tell me the truth.

Alice: Why?

Dan: Because I'm addicted to it. Because without it, we're animals. Trust me.

Alice: How can one man be so endlessly disappointing?

Dan: That’s my charm.

Alice: I’m waiting for you.

Dan: What are you waiting for?

Alice: I’m waiting for you to leave me.

Anna: Love bores you.

Dan: No. It disappoints me.
Anna: Why do you swear eternal love when all you want is excitement?

And my fave one of all:

Alice: Is it because she's successful?

Dan: No. It's because... she doesn't need me.

"If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking."

what I had been reading..

2008-08-16T11:26:00.004+08:00

Introducing..

So good even elmo's falling for it..:p

Well well this book is my bible with dealing with people and situations.. and as we all know.. humans are complex creatures. In my humble opinion, human relations are one of the trickiest but if handled well, can be both a stepping stone in your career path and personal life.

I really wanted to share with people that matters so here goes..

ALL of us has an INNATE MOTIVE.

And our personality is innate & motive based. Your personality is anchored by your driving core motive. Your driving core motive calls the shots from your subconscious mind and causes you to think and act the way you do.Your personality determines whether you are easily depressed, casual, critical, careful or carefree.

Now comes the fun part.

We are colour coded into: Reds, Blues, Whites & Yellows. First, you take a quiz. Then you identify your core colour. With that, you learn the strengths and limitations of your own colour and that of others.And how, for instance, a Red gets along with a Blue, at work, as a friend or intimate partner.

I'm definitely a Blue, (loyal, can be too rigid and serious at times, sensitive, self-sacrificing, sincere & emotionally deep, among others) and its true that I very much enjoy the friendship and company of the Yellows (charismatic, fun, willing to make a fool of themselves, but lack focus and flighty at times) I'm positive people I have long relations with, like my best friend is a definite Yellow.

" Yellows lighten the hearts of Blues, and Blues enrich the hearts of Yellows. They make a passionate team.Whether they are parent-child, friend-friend, husband-wife,employer-employee, this combination usually experiences positive bonds of playful creativity and committed caring. Blues are motivated by intimacy. Yellows are motivated by fun but need intimacy"... Blue-yellow combinations are primarily concerned with quality relationships (genuine human connection)"

I hope I got you excited. Learning about yourself and others have never been this fun.

good news all round..

2008-08-12T23:22:00.002+08:00

So many things goin on at once! buzzing with positivity now.:)

Mum got promoted, we're welcoming 2 new members into our family unit; Kelvin & soon to be little one. Things are looking rosy and will be if we choose to believe.

I'm finding meaning & fulfilment in my work, not all things come easy, but overcoming challenges is part of what makes it worthwhile. Enjoying friendships & great company, rekindling old ones and making new ones!

Happiness is truly a state of mind.

Something came to me whilst on the train ride home. I made a mental note to remember it so I may quote it here for all tired & (temporary-despaired souls):

Setbacks in life, they matter.

Pay attention to each & every crossroad you encounter for when they blow over, which they eventually will, you are left with a stronger spirit, a renewed strength and tenacity and a certain pride that life's obstacles have failed to overtake you, yet again.

If u had 60 minutes, allow yourself to wallow for 5 and fight the remaining 55. It'll be hard not to win. I believe and have faith that whoever is above those clouds will not put in my path what I cannot overcome. You should too. Above all, love yourself. :)

Packing

2008-07-26T23:27:00.010+08:00

I dun even know why I bother to clean/pack my room.

Cos I'm really a slob when it comes to keeping things neat & tidy..They could be, but not for long I assure you.

But I guess I needed to, or at least I tried. So I spent the day sorting & tossing, cleaning the dusty top shelves, mopped up the floor, laughed & reminisced over old pictures, rediscovering stuffs I never knew/forgot existed..Emotions continue to run amok but i tried to ignore them, the best I could.

My girly indulgence..

My effort at going green, with style of cos. Plastic bags are a nuisance anyhow.

I banish dust from the crevices daintily; its a face puff from some korean makeup store.(works great everytime!)

3d stickers on my lappy. I got them from japan & pieced the bits into this design.

Shades & timepieces dun have to cost much but they make a statement.

I keep random mags for beauty & make up tips.

Myriad accessories to pretty up a simple outfit. Bling bling!

Bought from Daiso; great for anything I use it for my nail colours.

2008-07-26T01:55:00.003+08:00

Sleep still does not come. Sigh.

That was the last time I felt free. Or so I remembered.

my babes of 64

2008-07-19T20:41:00.002+08:00

Black n white..Rinrin's idea

Really like this too;my photographic piece hee

Coolbabe Jeanie!

AG!

Had fun catching up with u babes.. I really needed it. Lets do it again very soon, okie?

I miss u all like I miss my Kirin milk tea & CC Lemon okie. Fly safe always :)

caspar

2008-07-19T09:04:00.005+08:00

GOOFY.

HUH??! WHO ?ME?

This is so exasperating funny I had to share.

My boy, Caspar loves chocolate. Except that dogs aren't supposed to ingest chocolate as its supposedly toxic and if complications arise, may cause death.

Which is why we panic when we find he had been stealing some. Remnants of ferrero gold wrappers in his mouth & around the 'scene of crime'. Well, this isn't the first time we caught him.

They could be in a grocery bag or some shelf he could reach, and he could always sniff it out, pick it out from the midst of other stuff and quickly (& quietly) gobble it in some corner.

He has also stolen & gobbled:

- 1 old chang kee curry puff (leading my mum to think I had 2 cos I ate one and she bought 2 till we found the pathetic paper thingy in shreds under the sofa.

- 1 four leaves hot dog bun ( again, stole it from the low coffee table, depriving us of 1 breakfast item)

- Chocs (mainly ferrero rocher and twice cadbury choc mint drops)

And he looks so content when asleep I can't help but feel like smiling. :)

busy.

2008-07-17T22:20:00.004+08:00

When the going gets tough, the weak goes shopping :p

The damage: Wait till the (dreaded) bill comes.

The items: Shades, grey cami and long cardi in cobalt blue,cute grey dress with cute buttons,metallic silver peep-toe pumps,& some random stuffs from Daiso plus an expensive haircut & styling tips for sexy hair lol.

Has been a dizzy week. Glad the weekend's rolling round again.
Am going to have a fruitful & enjoyable one. Movie with colleagues, meeting my very much-missed batchgals for coffee & borders thereafter. And then gliding (I hope!) with my fave people on Sun. Can't wait.

Have a smashing weekend.. I literally live for Fridays, its my fave day of the week.. & well I happen to be born on a late fri night. :) Little wonder I love fridays & am a night person.

Later.

Opportunist.

2008-07-14T21:03:00.005+08:00

I don't like all that is happening at home now.

Home to me, is a familiar ground, a place where u know so well. It may not be perfect, or the very perception of people's ideal.

My home is far from ideal, and that's the way it has been for as long as I remember.

But when someone unknown starts showing up & making changes to the space I call my own, all I want to do is to lash out and scream. I say unknown because I think I do not know the underlying motives, if any.

It makes me anxious, yet helpless at the same time. Being prey to circumstance is such a nuisance.

I have enough on my plate now. Too much, in fact.

I need peace, serenity & a promise that things will not go the other way.

God, please take away my nightmare.

2008-07-05T10:35:00.004+08:00

What have u learnt about yourself today?

Yepz its Sat!

How the week whizzes you by! Well, my work week has been cut short by this impromptu blessing in disguise incident. Feeling merry cos going to ktv later with my fave people :) I love singing!! Pictures be up later.

Friends. Where would we be without them?

Sometimes u find friendships in unexpected places. Its important that friends see who you are & accept & love u jus the way you are.

I'm really grateful for someone who actually tells me stuffs about me that no one does.

Riding in the car, we went thru lengthy conversations, flitting from one topic to another.

We all go thru different experiences in life & as such, exhibit behaviour that might eventually become a character trait. That is why i think its so important to be self-aware at different stages of one's life. At the end of the day, I just hope to become a better person.

Self improvement books are awesome sometimes & provide great insight but its nothing compared to a friend who will not only talk to you, but with you & at you. Awesome.

apprehensive

2008-07-02T14:16:00.004+08:00

A little apprehensive about posting this one.

I've been treating my blog as an outlet for frustrations and self-expression thru words, but i can't deny that I've been getting a bit of attention from friends, acquaintances etc. Truth is, i've always been a private person, even among friends I considered to be those I really care about & vice versa.

I'm not the kind who likes to trouble my friends with my endless ramblings, somehow. Its nice to share, sometimes. But honestly, talking about things that are difficult and cant be changed.. is a waste of energy on what i perceive to be the negative.

They say everything happens for a good damn reason.

Just a month or two ago, I've been busy filling up my time with activities.. movies, outdoorsy stuffs, just about anything that could get me out of the house. Catching up on past friendships, making new ones.. that the whole time it feels like a dizzying array of faces, events.. it makes me kinda disoriented.

Till i fell & hurt my knee (quite badly) while coming down a slope on ecp while rollerblading.What i thought was some scrapes on the knee that would heal with time (& hopefully no scar) ended up swelling at the knee joint, which means i cant straighten it out to walk..which means i get to stay home on mc.

Thats when i realised my mum thinks I've been going out too much it makes her worried. If not for this episode, i wouldn't have known my sis cares enough about me to apply ointment for me,or to bring me chocolate in bed.

I'm always learning more about myself thru incidents & events like this; & it lets me learn about those around me as well.

I honestly need some "me" time. Just the good old hanging at borders with a fave book in hand & a cuppa of frothy cappucino sounds really perfect. Oh, and someone who can make me laugh without even trying. :)

2008-06-19T23:37:00.003+08:00

To the friend I somehow confide the most with; got Shu Qi ok, I know u like.

di yi ge qing chen

2008-06-19T23:36:00.001+08:00

Leehom 王力宏 - Kiss Goodbye

2008-06-14T12:58:00.001+08:00

Leehom 王力宏 - Kiss Goodbye

2008-06-14T12:48:00.002+08:00

I'm always watching this becos my heart simply melts/evaporates/ goes all tingly at the short piano rendition from 2.56 onwards..

I would die a happy girl if I could see him play like that, in person. *faints*

So talented & suave. Sigh.

Shoes.

2008-06-12T20:56:00.001+08:00

I keep bumping into people I haven't met in a long time. :) Time to rekindle friendships.

Just the other day, I came across a familiar face, enroute to catching SATC for the second time. The conversation went like this after the 'how have you been' had been said..

Being an avid SATC fan and a shoe junkie, she was gushing about how fantastic the outfits for the set was. the shoes especially.

Me: The only shoes that I wanna be in are Charlotte's. But God keep sending me Carrie's men.

R: Cos u really just Carrie what, hopeless romantic..Keep ignoring all the Aidans, no wonder nice guys really finish last.

Me: .... Aidan who?.. ( I haven't watched the series at all)

It is not that nice guys are taken for granted, but rather the lack of chemistry (or isit feel-good chemicals) are simply lacking. (for me)

I took this quiz in Facebook which said I love with "eyes closed & heart open" , thus I'm a "crazy, unconditional lover" I guess in my case, when the heart is hooked, all reason goes right out the window. This is who I really am and I don't think that's gonna change anytime soon.

I read this somewhere & it got stuck in my head :

" If you choose to listen to your heart wholly & ignore the warning signs in your potential mates, all you are going to end up with are sweat & tears."

Whichever theory u subscribe to, self-love is really important. We need to love ourselves in order to be happy. When we are happy, the world and even the most annoying person can seem downright adorable. The smiles are genuine & people feel it & respond positively. It is a lovely feeling & I'm getting there :)

Likewise, if you heart is guarded and wary, its akin to holding a shield in one hand & a spear in another. You question honest intentions and is ready to strike at the slightest provocation. Not pretty.

Someone once told me, its a shame to settle with someone just because u can live with them, & not because it would kill u inside to be apart. Sometimes feelings can be transient, and it could be wise to be level-headed. (the pros and cons list)

But. Many things in life are mediocre. Love really shouldn't be one of them.

I'll choose intense gazes to lukewarm embraces anytime. Kisses no less than passionate and riveting, it leaves you reeling & quite breathless.

Seriously, without passion where would one be? That glint in the eye & the zest for life would be quite absent, doncha think?

Digressing, I love my job! It's nice to not have to dread waking up in the early mornings & going thru the motions till the clock strikes 6.
There's just so much creative ideas and postive energy and I'm looking forward to the challenges & surprises each day brings!

Beautiful Song

2008-06-11T22:34:00.004+08:00

我想找个答案

如果爱被出卖

到最後 非卖品有什麽剩下?

太好强?又太傻?受了伤?当赠品留下

包装的坚强

笑的那麽自然

悲伤也放进厨窗..

爱没有答案再倔强?再不放?到最後?被看穿?一个人逞强

说不恨是骗人我不再隐瞒爱的伤痕

不舍转过身不必回头地承认

非卖品是爱最美的灵魂..

the language of the broken hearted

2008-06-07T21:06:00.002+08:00

At times I wonder how..even as you have great company, flowing conversation, merry laughter, countless activities in your life..that hollow feeling just doesn't seem to go away.

This hollow feeling always creeps in at the most unsuspecting hour, threatening to overwhelm me in a way so terrifying I morph into someone I dun remotely know,even for awhile.

It feels surreal and so foreign I have no words to describe it. I have felt stronger even thru hours of jetlag, being in a foreign land, sick and wide awake, ravenous and misunderstood.

I have had my heart..

lovingly cradled..brutally trampled, hopelessly squashed, painstakingly mended, & am honestly drained.

I would give anything for it to come back to me in a pristine state. If only.

I seriously wonder: if we are all part of something which makes us whole, does it mean we will become whole & complete when we have found our other halves?

And how do God decide who finds theirs when they turn round the corner.. and who goes thru life searching, breaking hearts and who never even got the chance to?

Life isn't fair and will never be. I can only hope its all worth it.

A warm, open, loving heart given unreservedly does not ensure it will be treasured, lovingly handled or treated with integrity. That I have learnt.

"Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart..."What's a girl like me to do?

Pure, pure rendition..

2008-05-28T14:03:00.003+08:00

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Love is saying 'I feel differently', instead of 'You're wrong'.

can't talk

2008-05-25T22:18:00.002+08:00

Eunice!!!!!!

After 4 hours of ktv, I officially no voice now!

Scary. How ?....

focused

2008-05-22T17:15:00.002+08:00

Woke up bright and early today.

Never remembered being this focused in my life. Feels odd.

Some shitty events continue to unfold but oddly I find this silent strength within me.
And dearie eunice thanks so much for listening and caring and planning and your sms this morning..(Went great!)

Writing feeds my soul, I think. A blog is such a good idea.

Seeing things from a dog's eye view..

Like owner like dog?Like mummy like caspar?

Caspar is usually inactive, sleeps thru out the day,eats too much, shits like there's no tomorrow but I love him all the same. :)

"Forgetting someone you love is like remembering someone you have never met." Sigh.

today.

2008-05-20T20:52:00.002+08:00

As I'm typing this its pouring buckets outside. And dare I say there hasn't been a day I'm here that it failed to rain.

I would probably get more sun in Singapore. Not that I'm complaining much.

Aunt Ben cooked such a sumptuous & delicious dinner, we sat round the dining table, talked about the mischievious acts of my lil cousin and it felt like family.
It had been like this most days and I know I'm gonna miss it.

Gotta be up by 5 tomorrow. Am going to smooch rachel silly before I hit the sack.

If I had been sleeping all this while, its time to wake up and chase those dreams..

2008-05-19T19:48:00.002+08:00

Officially Broken.....

...

2008-05-19T11:41:00.002+08:00

Feeling the bluest of blue.

If you can't count on your family, who can you count on?

Will someone just have my back for a sec?

Tired. Tired. Tired.

random thoughts

2008-05-16T10:14:00.002+08:00

The sun is up today! And I'm here alone in the house!

Uncle Ivan has gone to work obviously, the kids are at school, and Aunt Ben just came in a moment ago to say she would be visiting her friends (to see some land?!) and would I like to go?

Well, I said thanks but no and she said she would be back at 3 pm and Uncle Ivan at 4 cos we would be celebrating my elder cousin's birthday later tonight with a good dinner. Yum. Can't wait. And its the weekend tomorrow! I pray for no rain, cos Ing wants to go to the zoo!

Nice Aunt Ben just dropped a few DVDs on the bed & told me where to get food downstairs and that she will be locking the door and to ring her if I needed something. Sweet. :) Even Uncle Ivan has changed somewhat. My memories of him was that he was defintely playful & mumbles all the time so i couldn't make out what he was saying 80 percent of the time.

He still mumbles now but he was being really sweet & responsible for the time I've been here. He would call each day at work (a few times!) to ask where I would be going, call again to check I've reached the destination and call to ask if I had my meals and what time I would be back and if I was okay making my way back on my own.
It was strange (but nice) having someone check on me all the time & then it crossed my mind that he would make a responsible, protective Dad.

I'm glad. In fact, I'm super glad that he's doing so well now and has a capable wife and 2 adorable kids, after seeing what he had been thru. I heard stories from my aunt about how it was like when they first got here; how she had to navigate the roads with him cos he would be unfamiliar driving on his own. I bet picking up Thai and adjusting to the work culture here wasn't easy either.

But what doesn't kills you makes you stronger! And stronger is always better for this constantly evolving and complicated world we live in.

Here, people are so much simpler & less uptight about things, generally. Children here literally play & they have a wonderful childhood.

At 2, my cousin is allowed to have ice cream, chocolate whatever, even at dinner time.
My heart skips a beat when I see her climb the steep steps, or clamber up the high chair, or use the laundry thingy as a monkey bar. And after classes ended, its all playtime. We have fun with Barbies, make-believe & play dohs.

The average Singaporean parent would probably be telling her child that candies are bad for you, and no soft drinks or snacks and scream at the top of their lungs should their children so much as sprint in the mall. Holding their hand & watching their every move. Tuition after tuition & have you learnt your spelling?

Sigh.

It's tough to be a kid these days. It's admirable to want the best for your child and to mould them the way you think is best for them..

But.. have you forgotten what it was like being a child?

How you secretly wonder what it was like playing in the rain?
How having an ice cream cone makes your day?

I don't even know why I'm writing this and I'm not trying to appear wise especially since I'm not a parent. Just an observation and my personal thoughts. :)

I think in this world we live in, we constantly worry about what might have been and tend to over anticipate & complicate things. But worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.

I mean, what if you spilled milk on the couch? Just send it for cleaning and it will be as good as new. So what if you fell and skinned your knee? If it hurts, let the tears fall, time would heal and you will be good as new.

Totally irrelevant below.

Gotta try out the kiwi salt scrub I got yesterday.. Grossly cheap & smells heavenly. Scrubs help give your skin a nice healthy sheen.. so girls, exfoliate exfoliate..Its supposedly smoothing & packed with Vitamin C. Yay.

And I'm gonna watch 200 pounds beauty on DVD again!

Later.

How would you like to go up in a swing, up in the sky so blue?

More Updates..

2008-05-15T23:09:00.003+08:00

Be warned: Long Post Ahead.

Here I am, sitting comfortably typing away with Maroon 5 in the background.

Earlier, I was scared out of my wits, actually. I went to the mall (Fashion Island) around 12ish..to have my lunch, shop for some stuffs, and later caught "What Happens In Vegas" (hilarious, witty, feel-good movie;go watch it!!) Anyway, I got into a taxi, fished out the note which my aunt wrote in Thai (address) and passed it to the taxi driver.

Anyhow, it was dark when I left the mall and about 20 minutes later, he wasn't sure he had got the place right. There were no streetlamps except for the meagre light the roadside stalls provided. Many sharp & abrupt turns later, he stopped the cab. It was so dark but I thought I got the right house (white fence) and quickly got off.

I squinted hard and realised I was in the neighbourhood.. its just that I have got the wrong house. That wasn't quite so bad, right? I mean, at least I was in the neightbourhood.. I jus had to get the unit right. WRONG. Well, this BIG dog started coming at me menacingly, but slowly(thank god) & growled. That was certainly not a friendly gesture. I retreated slowly.. and I realised the subdued and serene dogs that roamed freely in the day minding their own business have transformed to growling & howling beasts when night falls.

In the dark, It seemed like I was in a bad dream and I swear I could feel my heart thumping so hard it hurts. I didn't know what else to do but thank god for this lady out for a smoke. I stood beside her hoping she could sense i needed some help for I was speechless. She shoo-ed them away while saying something in thai. Next thing i knew, my aunt appeared, armed with a tennis racquet no less. I was so so relieved. She then proceeded to tell me that these dogs are hostile at night and that they were unfamiliar with me..
I have dogs of my own.. and like wolves, they hunt and move in packs.

I could have been mauled. GULP.

I wonder why they are such monsters at night. Isit cos they were hungry?..I had thought of getting some kibbles for them days before but decided against it.. What if they started a food fight? Like the big ones attack the small ones when theirs run out? Shudders. Its a dog eat dog world out there afterall.

Digressing, one interesting incident while at the movies.

You know how you have commercials & previews before the movie starts? I was sipping my Pepsi & then there was this couple on my right who suddenly stood up. And then it all makes sense when the images of the Thai King came on, complete with a regal sounding music, believed to be the Thai national anthem. I quickly turned around and saw that people at the back were doing the same.

They say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Logically, I should have done the same. But no, my butt sat glued to the seat and I silently wished that i could be invisible for that moment.
I totally understand and have great respect for their King, but my knowledge of him is that he is greatly respected, religious and that he loves dogs?

I am always intrigued by individuals who are greatly respected by others.
For respect has to be earned.
Did he automaticaly command the respect of his people simply by being King?
Or did he do something phenomenal to improve the lives of those in need?

This, I'm gonna ask my aunt tomorrow.

Digressing further... for those heading to BKK for a holiday anytime soon, beware of taxi drivers!!! (Kelly, take note!) Yesterday, I had one who took me on a long long tour, it was like a 2 hr ride when it could have been 45!

They would nod their head & say they know where they are going & yet end up at god-knows where! I had to keep calling my aunt & make him speak to her.

Ladies, if you are traveling alone in cities like these, you could bring:

1) Red Lippie ( to scrawl SOS or HELP on the windows if need be..)
2) Perfume with spray (obviously at the eyes or something so pungent it could make him gag)
3) Torchlight with alarm (Evelyn gave this to me; u pull the string & when it detaches makes a very loud sound & its continuous.. I don't know where to get this though)
4) Elbows when directed give strong blows

And DO NOT walk so near the pavement where the vehicles are whizzing by.. you run the risk of having your bag snatched OR bundled up in vans where syndicates operate on making the victims beg, & without an arm or leg too. This is told to me by my aunt. My little cousin of 8 yrs knows never to buy food at roadside stalls near her school, no matter how hungry.. cos the villians who run these syndicates target young children too, girls especially.

I hope these idiots burn in hell.

So.. Life is precious people! Travel if you must but travel smart!

Excuse me but I need to make myself camomile tea to calm my frazzled nerves now. 5 more days before I leave rainy Bangkok for sunny Singapore.

See ya. :)

No pictures!

2008-05-12T20:24:00.002+08:00

Due to some technical difficulties & slow internet connection, no pictures can be loaded!

Pity.

Anyhow, I went to this mall called "The Mall", & came back with some decent purchases.. Will be heading to chatuchak in a few days & be seeing the same stuffs, so I guess I will be saving the best for last!

Anyway, they have Morgan & Playboy lingerie, I didn't know! I want them all!
They are of such good quality plus they come in such feminine yet racy designs. Think baby pink with white lace trimmings or racy red and black combi. Makes me wonder why Singapore has none of those. You could get a blah one back in SIN for an even higher price. Totally not worth it.

No wonder girls always come to Bangkok to get their triumph fix. Triumphs back home can be a startling 50 bucks.. Over here, its about 300 baht which works out to be under 20 actually.
Plus some designs are totally exclusive, like the halter style. :)

Well, for a start its been raining since I got here. So unlike the scorching weather typical of Bangkok. I wonder why.. this renders my sunscreen redundant.

In 2 days I'm gonna have time for stuffs of my own..(they'll both be in school) cos I have been playing Big Sis & enjoying it.. Bringing my cousin to Mac's, buying them ice cream, playing arcade games, reading & colouring before bedtime.. the list is endless.

Its a nice place at my uncle's.. Nice & spacious and always filled with laughter; thanks to the exuberant lilttle one. She's always twirling and dancing, laughing and giggling.
I find it so amusing that she's always blabbering; none of it I could understand.. but its like so adorable I want to pick her up and smother her with my kisses lol!

Enough of mindless ramblings :)

Excited!

2008-05-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

Well I'm writing again & I'm so excited about tomorrow!!!

I actually have tonnes to do.. like making sure I have packed all I need for my 10 day vacation,

send out a few mails before I leave, bathe my dogs, made sure no outstanding cc bills left unpaid..

When I reach BKK I'm going to:

- spend quality time with my ridiculously adorable lil cousins
- pick up a few thai phrases
- learn to cook tom yam soup
- Shop for cheap and nice lingerie & clothes & accessories (what else!)
- Shop for bestie's stuffs
-Get snacks for pple back home
-Play babysitter to my lil cousins;paint, draw, read, whatever..
- Meet Kelly on a weekend to chinatown
- Go Chatuchak
-Apply lots & lots of sunscreen
-Exercise
-Plan my career move
- Think positive & be positive
-Enjoy cheap massage (muahaha)
-Be refreshed & recharged
- Take lotsa pictures
- Update blog with interesting pics & events

Its gonna be hard not being able to see you smile; but thinking of you brings a smile to my face. :)

-

my deepest fear

2008-04-12T00:36:00.004+08:00

There were some things that i feared greatly, among other things.

Earlier, I walked in thru the door after a long day at work & felt something amiss with my precious baby, affectionately known as meimei/Miffmiff ( i gave her so many names thru out the years & she responded to all) cos she jus didnt bark as usual.. I picked her up found her hind area trembling slightly. Silly me thought she had a sore throat & i gave her some pei pa koa. Yes.. she likes that & yes its the sweet,black thick syrup meant for humans for treating sore throats and coughs. I gave her once when i so much as hear her cough and it works wonderfully.

She is gonna be 8 this year & though she looks like a cute pup with lots of energy, I can't deny she sometimes huffs while she's resting.. a sign non-existent in her early years. My heart fills with dread the day i will have to say goodbye.. its too painful its almost unthinkable.

She loves to be right beside me whenever I'm home.. and the extent to which I'm dependent on her frightens me. I find myself wondering if she has wandered out of my hse, if she didnt come to me to be picked up usually. The bond we shared was just so special.

She has given me unconditional love all these time..licked my tears away during bad times, seen me thru bfs & heartache, & danced her celebratory dance whenever something good went my way.
It suddenly dawned on me that is exactly how love should be. It is as uncomplicated as can be.
It is about being there always, giving comfort where it hurts & sharing life's happiness. Where quitting & walking away isnt an option, ever.

I remembered the previous week where i got a cut from trimming her stained fur during a grooming session. She had fidgeted all of a sudden which caused me to get a bleeding cut on my finger. She licked me as if to say "sorry" Funny thing is, the following week while I was doing the same, she stood perfectly still, (not one movement,very unlikely of her) even while i was trimming near her eyes.

I can't exactly say I'm surprised cos this is the same dog who pestered me to pour her cold water from the fridge! into her water bowl & to open my cargo bag when i came back from a long flight cos she knows there are lots of goodies & treats I brought from Japan. She is smart as whip & mum always says she's almost human-like in her interactions with us. :)

My precious Miff at 8 yrs.. can u imagine how totally calendar pup material she was when she came into my life at 2 months?..

I later think she has some hind leg tremors and rubbed it down with ointment & cuddled her to sleep..

One of our fave pastime :) just lay n do nothing at all.

I know she knows how much she means to me.

But if she could hear me I would like her to know:

I'll be her pair of legs should hers fail one day.

I'll keep her from bumping into things should her eyesight deteriorate.

That she need not be afraid of what comes may, simply cos

I'll always be there for her like she had always been for me

That she'll always have a home & loving owners

true to the promise i made the very day I brought her home.

Getaway

2008-03-26T20:55:00.005+08:00

When the long weekend rolled around, we packed our bags and left for the HIGHLANDS!

We were there last year for my bday... so I pretty much anticipated how its gonna be. Still, its nice to be away from the blazing sun so typical of our island. Temperatures dipped as low as 16 degrees... & it reminded me fondly of the oh-so-cool outdoors in Tokyo.

Having the cool-as-mint winds caressing my cheeks with a hot cup of hot choc from Starbucks. Heaven. Pure pleasure is really in the simplest things :)

I got my wish of riding on the carousel. Pure glee. Me thinks I'm jus really a lil girl having to act all grown-up. ha.

With the group..

Us on the carousel,snapping away :)

The trip there was pretty crazy due to the weekend. It took forever to reach & we had to wait for ages to check-in. The more popular rides were so packed that queues seem never-ending. Not for the patience-challenged folks like me.

I feel more like a spa getaway.. Having my tired body kneaded & prodded, easing all the knots in my tired shoulders amidst serene & lush greenery, with Richard Clayderman in the background & the faint scent of fresh roses lingering.. wrapping up with a milk soak that's oh so luxurious..

I'm so gonna make this a reality soon.

Something meaningful

2008-03-10T21:31:00.006+08:00

Once I came across this meaningful quote. This was how it read:

" I try not to live my life satisfying every want."

I could not recall the author of this beautiful quote..but one thing's certain, it left me pondering & I dare say, pretty inspired.

I intepret "wants" as impulses for material possessions.

When I was eight, I remembered I so wanted this doll that could talk and say "I love you" .

I wanted it soo much that when that doll commercial came on, I sat glued to the screen & totally mesmerised.

I knew I wanted it terribly when I couldn't walk away from the shelf that housed my very desire.. that if I didnt have it there & then my heart would ache so bad, it was as good as dead.

Now that I'm all grown up, the doll I never had became a fond memory.

In recent years, I could pretty much afford what my heart desires with a little effort.

Of course, there are times when I wondered how it felt to slip my manicured feet into a pair of Jimmy Choos.

Or how wonderful it would be if I had the Chanel clutch to go with that LBD.

But have u once felt there was something u gotta have, but once its within reach, it loses its magic? I have.

Sure there is always that sense of triumph that leaves one euphoric, but it isn't enduring.
At least for me.

Let's just say..I WILL try not to live life satisfying every want :p

LOST

2008-03-05T22:37:00.005+08:00

A miliion thoughts racing thru my mind..

That place where I think I'm heading, are u really with me?

Aren't u leading the way? If so, why am I lost?.........

If Only..

2008-03-02T22:56:00.009+08:00

If only life is a perpetual holiday.

Silly, idealistic me.

Wisdom

2008-02-29T21:19:00.009+08:00

Some people pay for wisdom, I pay to get rid of it. Ha.

3 down, 1 to go.

I'm talking about my wisdom tooth. Made a trip to my neighbourhood dentist to get the upper right one done & over with. Apparently, it is impacted,which means u have to remove it so it stops bugging u, which means u have to get your gums cut & bloody,extract with ALOT OF FORCE, have the gums sewn back,which also means u get an MC & drink gooey stuff till u feel well enough to chew.

Who named it "wisdom" anyway? When my dentist held it up, all I saw was a pretty average, bloody slab of chipped thingy which looks tired & defeated, much like a soldier at the end of a long,long war. Disgusting.

Speaking of dental visits, it is never enjoyable, isn't it?

U lie there feeling quite helpless, the bright light shining on your face, having all kinds of weird, metallic objects in your mouth prodding your gums. Yelch.

What if the dentist is really cute? Would that make things better? I wouldn't know, if u get what I mean. :)

I must say it wasn't as bad as a year ago when I blew 1k on the bottom 2, (yes,1k on my medisave) Having my left cheek swell like a half-hearted balloon & spewing blood at 3am really was disconcerting.

Anyway, my dentist said I've got a nice, straight perfect set of teeth. Thinking back, it was something I've always taken for granted. But not anymore, I'm gonna take a renewed interest in toothpaste, mouthwash, flosses.. all that to preserve what I've taken for granted in like 24 years now.

Well, for one, a smile is really important. A nice, straight set of pink gums & pearly whites is such a positive turn-on ok. So, I'm working towards that. Caffeine drinks like coffee stain teeth I heard, so I'm now gonna have my cuppa from a straw ONLY. I hope people don't look at me funny.

Still not convinced you should brush/floss/gargle diligently?

Try sticking a piece of seaweed in between ur front teeth & smile a big one.

Have a good weekend (flossing away)

Juno

2008-02-24T17:40:00.003+08:00

This film made my weekend beautiful.

Its smart, witty, quirky yet it pulls at your heartstrings :)
Kudos to the amazing Ellen Page & the talented cast.

My 2 lovelies

2008-02-19T22:00:00.003+08:00

Presenting my pair of joy...Dogs have personality too, just like us.
My Miff & Cass are different as night & day :)

Fiesty lil Miff in Cart Basket

Clueless boy aka the bullied one.

I see this everyday but still it amuses me no end. Cass licking/kissing Miff as if to say "Good Morning, I love u!" , only to be rewarded with a curt little snap from the high & mighty missy.

And yet he does this day after day.

Such devotion. Sigh.

I can't comprehend.

2008-02-17T21:06:00.009+08:00

Relationships take alot of work.
On the surface, it seemed a simple enough indulgence. The eyes like what it sees, followed by that first hello, a positive chemical reaction that gets it racing & the heart is hooked.
And then u have that honeymoon period where u can't get enough of each other, when the mere mention of his/her name gives u a happy little rush much like the after effects of a perfect cup of hot chocolate on a rainy night.
Of cos if it were serious u would have come to the stage where u took each other for granted, knowingly or unknowingly.That's also when u would know the undesirable habits of your other half like the back of your hand. You know what makes them tick, & what sends them to sheer frustration.

When they say love conquers all I'm skeptic. I just can't say the same for love of the romantic kind.
We are attracted to someone because we admire the qualities they have , & we choose to be a big part of their lives because we like & want to live with this person dear to us, largely attributed to the very same qualities that person brought with into the rship.

But what happens when people change?

Change I had. Over the years my wants & needs & views have all altered somehow. Some for the better & some just killed my wallet.

But one thing remains unchanged.

I just want to feel valued & important whether in terms of words & actions not to just any Tom, Dick or Harry, but to that one person I pledge my devotion to.

This one thing is like the icing on the cake for me. If the cream on top tastes like overdone butter, I'm throwing away the whole slice cos literally,this is what takes the cake.

Listen, you.

If u were just Mr. XYZ I would have first requested for a slice with a perfect topping, to save myself the disappointment.

But its precisely that u are special that I would never want to state my expectations. Becos I knew u knew. And becos....

如果开口那只是我要来的温柔。

& pls, don't confuse me. Don't act like you know it for a week & forget all about it for a day. This, I truly can't comprehend.

2008-02-13T22:41:00.002+08:00

Hell Hath No FURY like a woman scorned by PMS.

Grrrr.....

Gatherings & good old cheer

2008-02-11T21:47:00.001+08:00

CHEERS!!!!!!

Its been such a long time since I enjoyed CNY...Seeing the once familiar faces brings back so much memories. I have been especially close to not just the cousins I spent my childhood with, but also the uncles & aunts long before they started their own families.

I remember my yet to be married aunts in the other room, chit chatting before bed, and my uncles snoozing in that tiny but cozy living hall, lined by mattresses. I still remember being chided by my grandma for wanting to sleep in the living hall, just like my uncles cos i thought that cool and fun.

I can't believe how time flies. I now have cousins who are at a strapping 1.8m or taller, and they are only about 16!

Its a pity we don't catch up that often. But the smiles that go around & the genuine concern is so heartwarming. I so wanna do this again.

Month of Love

2008-02-08T13:16:00.000+08:00

CNY aside, February is also the month of love.

Juvenile? But very cute..

Early morning trains

2008-02-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

I can't remember the last time I took the train in the early morning of 7-8ish, where every working adult depended on daily to get to work on time.

Everywhere I turn, people moved at an amazing speed. It was like their heels were on fire, gunning for a race except there clearly wasn't any prize. I wish I could be unaffected by this organised mayhem. If work starts at 9, I'm not gonna want to get all ruffled up before I even step into the office lift.
So i plug in my mp3 & try to block out the uncertainties of the day or ignore the heaviness in my eyes that threaten to overcome me.

A friend once told me, he much prefered taking buses to trains. He said he could always enjoy the scenery when in the bus & because of the seating arrangement( back facing ), he would not feel awkward about where to rest his eyes in case he didn't want to shut them.

As we all know, the seats in out trains are made to face each other, & many times we as human beings tend to look or stare at things out of the extraordinary, or simply out of curiosity and boredom.Many times I have been subjected to what I'll rather save my peepers from...like a pair of prepubescent teen in uniforms fondling openly, people wearing fugly torn slippers & women in skirts with obvious hairy(unshaved!) legs... On a normal uneventful ride, I'm sure most of us inevitably shift our attention to the most attractive person in your vicinity :) Afterall, its human nature to admire beauty.

What a tiring day I had.. I can't wait for CNY to come & its not cos of the hongbaos/goodies/gatherings.....urgh.

2008-02-02T16:10:00.001+08:00

My gals

2008-02-02T15:03:00.002+08:00

It was dear Rin's big night,which explains the lovely slideshow.Turns out it was the lovely bride's birthday as well. Double bliss. I'm so gonna miss the gals. Sigh. Although we couldn't catch up as often as we liked,(due to differing schedules, personal commitments) we always have so much to say.

Thanks for.. waking me up early in the mornings by calling my room. Although I was still in dreamland, it makes me smile knowing I'm gonna have great company for lunch later!

Thanks for the little gifts of candies or goodies/encouraging notes in my mail box..Its nice to know I'm being thought of..

Thanks for coming to my room to chat even if just touched down from a 12 hour flight..Its so heartwarming to hear a familiar voice..

Thanks for your little treats, bread rolls & muffins before i go off for flight, sharing medications & internet connection..

&... for laughing at " THANKS FOR WAITING!!" I'll always remember that :)

Till we meet again! I hope soon.

I miss Japan

2008-01-30T23:50:00.002+08:00

God, time really flies.

I still remember the very first time I set foot into Tokyo, the famous bustling city of Japan. It was going to be a long stay, 6 weeks to be exact. Its a real pity that I've lost all the pictures taken during training, no thanks to my very old & obsolete pc which crashed..:( No worries though, the memories are mine for keeps.

Let me count the ways I love Japan:

-Great food . Succulent & fresh seafood & sashimi, melt-in your mouth sushi, Cutest strawberry confections, addictive Kirin milk tea, Pocky sticks of any flavour possible & i seriously haven't met someone who doesn't love Japanese food.

-Lovely Packaging. Whenever I get something, I can be sure it's always nicely done up. Think bows & ribbons; wrapping paper of every colour & texture. Receiving pretty gifts is such a delight.

- Heartfelt service. Serve staffs are generally obliging & polite. Makes for a great shopping experience i think.

Tokyo during my last flight..

Beautiful Sunset

The junction on a typical winter evening

My fave unagi; a must order & my batchgirl Yan's treat!

Although I've ditched my hard earned wings for a regular life, I'm never looking back. Cos sometimes there are things more important & valuable. Shopping in Manhattan & enjoying sashimi in Japan might be enviable to many, I agree.

But knowing that there's someone who loves you that you can go home to & snuggle under the covers every night?

Priceless .

My very 1st post..NOT FOR THE COCKROACH PHOBIC

2008-01-28T23:06:00.000+08:00

I finally got started on my blog!

I have always wanted a space of my own to pen my thoughts and feelings, special events in life, how cool that must be.

Anyway, there are so many events going on in my life right now, I don't know where to start.

As I'm typing this on my bed, I'm surrounded by what I call "organised mess", as you see, I'm halfway thru the annual spring cleaning for CNY. . I wouldn't even have started if not for the cockroach that i found hovering over my hair curler on my bedroom floor days ago. Mum had went after it using a lousy little broom (that supposedly magically scoops hair and fur) after hearing my screams.. After jumping like a maniac (in the safety of my sofa of cos) and 2 loud smacks later, my very heroic mum proclaimed IT disappeared. Like without a trace. She then proceeded to calmly put down that lousy thing and sat down with her very soggy meepok, furiously chomping.

I think the conversation went something like this:

Me,still on my sofa : What do you mean it disappeared?! Cockroaches don't disappear, now that you let it go, it must be hiding somewhere..like my wardrobe or in between the pages of a book, just about anywhere..OMG !!How can I sleep in peace ever?!

Mum: Its gone already, I can't even see where it goes, anyway I'm soo hungry.. (followed by some endless ramblings of how untidy my room is, and that i must have eaten in there, and how cockroaches love a dirty place and how i'm ever going to cope when i have my own house)

I swear during this time all i could ever think of was that hideous black thing with its unusually long feelers. Not only were they long, they were moving in a menacing way. Taunting even.What good are feelers to a cockroach anyway?

Anyhow, I've been a really good girl after that episode and have been cleaning up my room, even the dusty top shelves are now clean & dettol-ed. Therefore, no sightings of Mr. Cockroach and that makes me a very happy girl. :)

Just moments ago, I found out Mr. Cockroach had decided my sis's room a better stay, since she regularly keeps half eaten packs of salt & vinegar chips scattered on her table.Mm.How nice. Many loud yet suppressed screams and cockroach bashing later, Mr. Cockroach's fate is sealed..

Ooh that's long for a first post..gotta go back to sorting out more mess.

Till then :)